Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
