is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
