I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
