The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
