dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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