he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
