I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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