I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
