it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
