You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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