I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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