She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
