I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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