I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
