You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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