There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
