In America we eat man semen.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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