hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
