Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
