careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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