It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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