I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
