He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
