i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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