My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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