I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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