I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize