she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
