Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
