PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
