Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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