I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
