"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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