i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
