can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
