Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
