My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
well you can't waste a boner
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
