She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize