just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
