We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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