I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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