i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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