Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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