im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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