honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
