yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize