College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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