Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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