...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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