Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
