i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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