I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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