i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
